A short story.
Z (A short story about a dream)
Tonight I dreamt of this girl that I haven’t seen in about three years. She was a classmate of mine for a year in kindergarten and all throughout grade school. She went to an all-girl school in high school and I lost touch with her a few years into college.
I remember we were pretty close back then when we still knew each other; we lived pretty far from each other but her house was the first place I learned to get to without any help from my parents, because we hang out a lot. But I’m not really the best judge of people and my relationships with them, I very easily and loosely throw out the term friendship, and this girl, at least in my terms and I hope hers too, we were pretty close.
I tell you this story now, because I very usually forget the dreams I have. I find it weird that the one dream she’s in would be stuck in my head long enough for me to write something about it.
The last time I saw her was in a little reunion with my grade school classmates, we were drinking at this bar and she kept texting on her phone, I asked her who she was talking to (I say talking because, sadly I think texting has replaced speaking in terms of communication today.) and she said it was her boyfriend. This prompted me to not stop talking to her the whole night trying to make her laugh and maybe forget about her boyfriend. I wasn’t trying to break them up, I didn’t even know this guy, but I knew I also didn’t want them to be together. I’m pretty selfish.
A few hours later she said she had to go, the earliest one to leave, the bar was close to her house and everybody was having too much fun to help her get home, not that she asked any of us anyway. With the premise of needing to buy cigarettes I told everyone I would go help and walk her home. We talked the whole way, she told me about college and how hard becoming a nurse was, and I told her how easy my course was because I didn’t want to talk about college and just told her stories that would end with me doing something funny. I liked making her laugh.
The dream was me in front of her asking her to be my girlfriend. And she said yes, which was nice and, and made me feel warm and happy. Suddenly we were in front of this restaurant and I was reading a text from my high-school classmates asking me where I was and everybody was already inside the restaurant and having fun, it was a reunion. I looked at her awkwardly being that she just became my girlfriend a few minutes ago, I asked her even more awkwardly if she was okay meeting my high-school friends. She looked at me, and she smiled, laughed a little, punched me in the shoulder and said yes.
I have this amazingly vivid memory of her in grade school. Class was just dismissed and we were walking out of the classroom together, she made a joke about how fat I was and I made a joke about how thin and short and small she was, which made her laugh more than I thought she would, then she jumped gripped my neck and I piggybacked her behind me for about ten seconds while she laughed, then she let go, looked at me and laughed because I was breathing so hard and sweating a lot, “Bigat mo.” Was all I could say and she laughed even louder.
The dream continues with me standing in front of the university she studies in, not long after, I see her walking out with her friend, she sees me and I smile, she smiles back which was nice. She asks me why I was there and I tell her I wanted to walk her home. She said no. I looked at her friend, a girl whose face I also knew but whose name at the time I couldn’t remember. I asked her why and she didn’t answer. My dream then cuts into me and her plus her friend inside a jeepney on our way to her house. She tells me she didn’t have a problem getting home alone, and I tell her I have a problem with her going home alone, her friend smiles and I smile back at her.
The first crush I had was with my classmate in grade-school, this cute girl named Jessie, she had long hair which I liked, she had this cute smile but the thing I remember most about her as that whenever she recited something in class she used to always look up at the ceiling, I asked her why a few days after I first noticed it and she said it helped her remember, I tried it myself but it didn’t work, it only reminded me of her. The other girl, the girl I dreamt of, she was Jessie’s best friend, and she kept pushing and even helped me court my first crush. A year before we graduated from grade-school, Jessie and her family moved to Singapore, I haven’t seen her since.
I was crying on her lap, in my dream, we were at a resort, and my college friends were busy drinking and having fun, she pulled me over and I told her I was happy she was here, and she started telling me the story of how she fell in love with me and I started crying. It was weird, I don’t usually cry in real life, but apparently I cry in my dreams very easily. Then I tried to kiss her, but she moved her face away, she told me she wasn’t ready, and I smiled because I found that to be cute and nice and funny and very much like her. Then one of my college friends told us that we had to go, because this awesome band, Kadangyan, was playing in our favorite bar which was close to the resort we were currently in. I looked at her asked her if she wanted to go, but she said she needed to go home. I told my friends that we couldn’t come and told them to have fun. Then I saw myself in front of her house, she was going in, she looks back at me and smile, which made me feel warm and nice.
That was when I woke up.
I laid on my bed for a while, I thought about texting or calling her, maybe to tell her the story of how I dreamt about her, and to maybe get in touch with her again, and maybe to hear her laugh again. But I didn’t, and eventually I fell asleep again.